Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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