so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I know her cup size but not her name....
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
