Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
