Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
it was like eating out sand paper
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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