i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
