The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
