Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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