I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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