are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
