Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
