did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
