Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
