Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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