Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I think a kid would responsible me up
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
