thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
