If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
