i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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