I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
