ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
