What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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