I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
