Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
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He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
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Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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