i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
