shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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