the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
