i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
