i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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