Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
