you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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