pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
