allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
