he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
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I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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