There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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