Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
You are a genius and a whore.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
