just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
