he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
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Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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