Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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