shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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