im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
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