And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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