You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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