Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
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