Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
