Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
