I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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