Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
