I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize