if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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