I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Randomize
