well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I haven't been this sober since birth.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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