**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
