it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
