You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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