are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
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