So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
