I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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