soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize