I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Sorry about my life...
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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