He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
