Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
True but thats because hes a fetus.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
