This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
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