I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize