Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
