This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
