Dual....:-)
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize