elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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