she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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