i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
