Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
