I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
