What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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