I showed him my bush... on skype.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
